And then, I got a job again. Even though working a typical hourly job made my financial life better, it also took over my life. And I hate that I let it do that. It's hard to leave work at work when you are doing the jobs of four different people. And I feel angry that I abandoned writing because I was too busy working at home.
I mean, shouldn't you always make time for your first love?
No matter what--job or no job--life is hard. In the past two years, I've watched my son grow taller and more confident in his speech, I lost my best friend, I worried for my health and that of my family members, and I remembered what it was like to serve people who are more vulnerable that I am. I've cried, I've laughed, I've mourned, and I've learned.
My life is filled with the ordinary and the extraordinary--washing clothes and doing dishes; celebrating the births of new family members and friends' children; plodding through homework with the kids; adventuring in the Bahamas; and attending IEP meetings. I have to force myself sometimes--even in writing the sentence prior to this one--to remember that there is good in my life in addition to the daily stresses. Every day there is a new battle to face, a new hardship to overcome, and I have to remind myself, that it's not all bad, that there is good here too.
As Martin Luther King says, "We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope."